the groove

I haven't had anything to write in a couple of days because I haven't really been doing anything. I had Saturday and Sunday off, Saturday I'm pretty sure I just bummed around, spent a lot of time reading and Sunday we took a group rafting. It was really relaxing just to sit on the boat and watch the mountains pass by.The water was cold though, and I didn't get in even though it was hot out. Later that day a bunch of us ate lunch outside on the pizza deck. Monday I had to work. That night a group of us had a picnic in my tent and then we hung out with a bunch of people in boystown that were having a barbque. We did that for awhile and then headed over to another living area to hang out with more people, but that was awkward so we left. We met a lot of people though. Yesterday it was cold and rainy and I hung out with some friends in the morning and that afternoon we went to Oakhurst to get groceries. (I've gotten very tired of eating peanut butter and jelly). We at a Mexican food restaurant there called... get this... Mexican food. haha. IT was soooo good, though, I can't believe I've missed mexican food that much. Everything here is so fresh, we had fresh avacado with our meal. yum. We kind of wasted time in oak hurst for awhile that night, it was good to get out of the valley. Sometimes it seems boring here especially if you don't have a car to go anywhere and you don't drink. At night that's pretty much what everyone does... drink. it makes for some pretty good entertainment but it gets old after awhile.
Yesterday it turned cold and the clouds covered the mountains. IT was really pretty, but I was so busy looking at it I forgot to take a picture. oh well, i'm sure it will rain again.
A bunch of us had planned on going on a sixteen mile hike today,to the good ole half dome ( a steep hike with the last six hundred yards accessible only by cables) but it was too cold and wet...a little disappointing, but I am planning on making a good meal for lunch, (vegetarian stir fry anyone?) and going to the gathering later tonight. and maybe playing the piano and reading a little. So... i'm settling into the groove of Yosemite...

on a deeper level, I've really been thinking about trust lately. Before I came here I told myself that I was going to be open and vulnerable and real with everyone... I hate it when people are fake and I never wanted to be one of those people. In the past I have had trouble with trusting, but my philosophy now is to be real and risk getting hurt. Well I did. I got frusterated at work Monday because I didn't know who to trust. Everyone was talking about everyone, and people I thought were my friends still were but were possibly for the wrong reasons. I just get hurt sometimes when it seems like I am doing my best to be myself and open myself up to people and it just gets thrown back in my face. I've just decided to give this person the benefit of the doubt and be friends with them, but I hate the fact I have to be on my guard and sometiems watch my back. Everyone is not good in the world, and I know that is something I've known for awhile, but its hard when its reality again. Maybe all this sounds naive, but its worth pondering...