Time

A couple of night ago Shawn and I were looking at old pictures I had pulled out of the closet in response to a challenge from a fellow teacher that Shawn never had long hair. I was trying to find picture to prove it. There were plenty. As I was looking through the pictures, however, I noticed something. I didn't look the same as I used to... and it made me sad. I looked tired, older, less vibrant in contrast to the pictures from three or four years ago. Was it my brown hair? Was it a few extra pounds? It was disheartening, and though I know that I am still young, I was reminded that time always marches on.
A few weeks ago I attended one of my best friends weddings. It was fun for us five girls who have been friends from high school to get together for a few weekends of fun. This friend was one of the last to get married. I love attending friends' weddings, but it also makes me sad because I know as the years go by, less of us will be in the same place. A few days after the wedding, another one of my friends moved six hours away, to New Orleans. I moved back to Nac two Decembers ago partly because I wanted to be close to my friends who were planning a different wedding then. They all lived in Nacogdoches, then, and I was the only one living far away. I couldn't handle being away from them, and I didn't want to miss the fun. Now, there are only two of us living in Nacogdoches, and the others live in different towns and are starting their own families. So much is changing and I am always thinking about which direction my life will take.

On the other hand, in thinking about my relationship with Shawn. Things are wonderful. I feel like we have come to a place where we are used to living together and can talk and respect each other. He is my best friend. I was thinking the other day about how embarrassed I used to be that I was so shy. I would always ask God for confidence; I wanted to be like those girls who could say whatever was on their mind. I hated that part of me for years. Then, I met Shawn who actually admits that my occasional red face actually endears me to him. In time, I did earn confidence, but I am glad that I still blush a little bit. I guess that self-described "flaw" helped me attract the perfect guy :)