Marriage is a funny thing

Marriage is a funny thing. A natural thing. A comfortable thing. It’s weird how much it’s built up in American society… so much so that I expected to feel this almost tangible pull towards togetherness and eternity when we said “I do,” but it didn’t happen that way. The ceremony was tender and sweet and intimate, perfect and everything I wanted, but I felt like I was one of a team; we worked together like we always have. There was no magical moment. Sure the night was magical, but I didn’t immediately feel “married” like I expected to. The honeymoon was everything I expected: wonderful, relaxing, memorable… but being married, well, it just feels normal, like we were always supposed to be this way… except that I keep feeling like I will have to leave and go back to Nacogdoches in a few days, but I won’t.
I am trying not to be bogged down by the pressure that says a middle class American wife should be a certain way. I am trying to be myself, learning, living, breathing and loving like I always have. Except that now, I have promised my love, and I have a promise of another to love me back.
I can’t believe that this part of my life has arrived. In some ways, I still feel sixteen, an innocent little girl trying to find her way in a vast world. But in others, I feel old and wizened, ready to take on whatever life throws me. There are no suitable words to express how overjoyed I am to live with a man who has promised his life to me, to care for me and love me every day to the best of his ability. I know that he would do anything for me, and sometimes I feel undeserving of the pure and passionate love that he has for me. I am thankful for such a man that will help in any little way, always thinking of others above himself. I like what my mom said during a toast at our rehearsal dinner : “His heart weights more than he does.” It’s true. Though I feel scared at times of what the future holds for us as a couple, I feel confident that we can handle whatever is thrown our way-together. And I know that we will always have…this.