New Job

New Job and New Home
Written in March:
Shawn and I finally settled on a place to live. We decided that if we had to be relegated to Texas then we would live in Austin. In the month that followed that decision, Shawn went on several interviews and scored a job in Austin. He stayed with my cousins for three weeks until I went to visit him during spring break. My sole purpose of the break was to find an apartment for us, which I did. It took a little longer than I expected to move in, but Shawn moved in a week later after I had already returned to Nac. Our apartment is small, in north Austin, about 20-30 minutes away from down town. I really like it. And I think I’ll like it even more when we actually get to put the things we got at the shower this weekend (april 5)in it. After Shawn moved to Austin, I attended a job fair at SFA. I spoke to a few recruiters, but the one that seemed the most promising was White Lodging, a hotel management company I had never heard about before. They invited me to go on an interview the next day. That night I debated whether or not I should go to the interview. I was still debating on what I wanted to do with my life and I knew little about the company. I ended up going anyway. I was pleased with what I learned and was invited to a second and final interview in Austin at the end of March. There, the three recruits of SFA(cream of the crop I was later told) would meet and greet GMs of several open positions with the company. I drove to Austin that weekend with anticipation. I was nervous. I had never been on a formal interview before, let alone one where I had to meet, initiate and pursue conversations with Managers about subjects that I knew little about. I was shaking by the time I got to the hotel. I arrived in the room full of recruits and managers. To my surprise, I was the only one not wearing a suit. I immediately felt self-conscious, but pulled myself together and began talking with a few managers that had just walked into the room. Our early conversations were mostly surface level, but as the night wore on and the drinks kicked in, everyone got more comfortable with one another. I was able to identify with quite a few of the managers and ask the questions that I wanted. I even got a few of their business cards. The “meet and greet” lasted much longer than I expected, but the time went by fast, and I was given an interview time of 8:00am the following morning. The night I spent in the hotel was long, and I was eager for morning. The next morning I went to the interview, bedecked in my new $30 jacket coat I had found on sale at JC Penny’s the night before. I wanted to look my best, and give myself the most edge I could. The interview went well; I did the best that I could, communicated who I was, but wasn’t sure whether or not I had the job. We toured several more close hotels and were sent home. I was told that the interview process would take up to two weeks. They called me the next day. They flattered me with compliments and it turns out that the woman who I had sought out the night before was my contact person. She had started out in event planning which I what I want to do. Though they didn’t have an exact place for me, they still wanted me and promised to start me at the front desk where I would cross train and eventually move up to management in a short amount of time. I was thrilled!!!The job would offer a lot of security and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore! They even delayed my start date to July 7th so I would have time to plan the wedding , get married, go on the honeymoon, and move in. I’m so glad they were compassionate! I am very impressed with the company and their honesty and friendliness. I think it will be a good company to work for and get some experience. Though I still want to pursue academics in the future, for now it will be best to get some life experience and earn some money to put away for school and other adventures.
The whole process of deciding to move to Austin and getting the job took less than two months. It kind of feels like an out of body experience. I can see myself doing all these things: planning the wedding, finishing school, going to parties and showers, but I can’t believe it’s me. It’s kind of daunting in a way. My single life is swiftly coming to a close. Not that I regret it, but I feel like when I get married, the responsibility increases. Sacrifices are made and life is put on a track that most people follow. You get married, have a couple of kids, work, and that’s the most of it. Life feels short now, and I’m dealing with that. It felt so long last year. I will have to be an adult and those are some big shoes to fill. I’m not sure I can squeeze my personality into a dress coat with much ease.

Now:
I have moved to another hotel closer to mine and Shawn’s apartment… about ten minutes or less away. I will be a sales coordinator, working for the sales manager and basically doing whatever anyone else wants me to do. I am excited and ready to start! This whole stay at home wife thing does not work for me. 

Marriage is a funny thing

Marriage is a funny thing. A natural thing. A comfortable thing. It’s weird how much it’s built up in American society… so much so that I expected to feel this almost tangible pull towards togetherness and eternity when we said “I do,” but it didn’t happen that way. The ceremony was tender and sweet and intimate, perfect and everything I wanted, but I felt like I was one of a team; we worked together like we always have. There was no magical moment. Sure the night was magical, but I didn’t immediately feel “married” like I expected to. The honeymoon was everything I expected: wonderful, relaxing, memorable… but being married, well, it just feels normal, like we were always supposed to be this way… except that I keep feeling like I will have to leave and go back to Nacogdoches in a few days, but I won’t.
I am trying not to be bogged down by the pressure that says a middle class American wife should be a certain way. I am trying to be myself, learning, living, breathing and loving like I always have. Except that now, I have promised my love, and I have a promise of another to love me back.
I can’t believe that this part of my life has arrived. In some ways, I still feel sixteen, an innocent little girl trying to find her way in a vast world. But in others, I feel old and wizened, ready to take on whatever life throws me. There are no suitable words to express how overjoyed I am to live with a man who has promised his life to me, to care for me and love me every day to the best of his ability. I know that he would do anything for me, and sometimes I feel undeserving of the pure and passionate love that he has for me. I am thankful for such a man that will help in any little way, always thinking of others above himself. I like what my mom said during a toast at our rehearsal dinner : “His heart weights more than he does.” It’s true. Though I feel scared at times of what the future holds for us as a couple, I feel confident that we can handle whatever is thrown our way-together. And I know that we will always have…this.