Life is complicated

Life is complicated. I had an interview with a hotel management company on Friday and Saturday, March 28-29. It was probably the most extensive interview process I’ve been through, but it provided with good experience for later interviews if this job does not work out. I felt confident even though I was the only one there who was a psychology major, and not a hospitality or hotel management major. It was a little intimidating at first, but really, it’s all about talking to people and being confident in who you are. If you can sell yourself and your abilities, it’s pretty much all downhill from there. I’ve never had an interview, though, where I’ve had to dress in business attire or wear a suit (that might not be saying much about my career history  )so it was a little awkward to be so confined in clothing. Same goes for the job. .. I’m just not sure if my free spirit can be confined. It might spring out at any moment’s notice… I’m not the cool and collected business manager type, yet. But do I want to be? My biggest frustration with growing up, entering the real world and graduating from college is that I have to have a job just to have a job. I feel pressure from all sides of my upbringing. My parents want me to have a job that is responsible, a real job that will look good to other people; my professors want me to continue on with my education, others recommend that I just get some kind of 9-5 experience. I just hate that I have to have a job just to have a job, and that Shawn has to have one as well. When I thought about us living in Austin, I thought about all the opportunities to pursue art and music and take other classes and hang out with different people. I’m not sure now that we’re going to have time for that, and it’s frustrating. I just don’t think I can spent 50 years of my working life in a 9-5 job just so I can have benefits, or just so I can have this amount of money, or just so I can look good in the eyes of others. The other side of the coin is that I have a degree; Shawn and I are both capable of academic jobs, but they require more school and school requires money that we don’t have yet. So, we have to have a job to get money to do anything else that we want to do in life. And the jobs we have, have to be an entry level position, even though we have a degree because we don’t have any experience. I feel like I could do so much… but I feel like I’m limited in a sense and frustrated because I can’t do what I want. Heck, I would work at starbuck’s all day if I could, if it meant that I could meet people and be involved in things other than work. I just don’t want my enlightenment from life to end. I don’t want to get stuck, sucked into a job that drains me of all desire to do things that I want to do. It just doesn’t make sense and it’s frustrating . I can’t stand the thought that this might be it.