conversation?

So... I've had a couple of really frusterating conversation lately with people that are supposed to know everything about me. How can people who say they love me so much really be so opposed to the way I want to live my life and not trust who I am becomming? How do I express what gives me freedom to people who question my every move? who don't see me as an adult who can make her own decisions? Haven't I proven myself?

I guess its my need or want to feel accepted by people. I feel a deep desire sometimes to want to please, to alter myself so others can be happy. So often I feel this is wrong, is this being my true self? I try to explain myself, try to initiate conversations about things that interest me, but to no avail. Everyone seems the happiest when conversations like these are avoided and surface level talk drones on and on... I get so tired of it.

The most freedom I feel is in Christ; in having conversation with people who are not like me; in learning from those who grew up differently from me; and spending time with people who I have grown to love (who most likely are seen by others, including my family) as unloveable and a "bad influence." Isn't this what Jesus did? I am not satisfied by going on week long missions trips where activities and spiritual conversations are expected and planned. I want to live my life seeking out others... other truths, other beliefs, other ways of life and in the process hope to show the truth that is inside of me. I am not content to stay in my little shell of a life where everything is comfortable. Getting outside of ourselves... isn't this where we grow?