New year

Here I am again, at the beginning of a new year. Looking back over my posts from previous Januarys, I seem to find myself in the same position. Right at the point that I should be embracing the new, I'm at my lowest. So much has changed, and for that I am grateful. Graduated, moved to Washington state, have a new job in School Psychology, have new friends, my relationship with Shawn is stronger than ever. But somehow it's not enough, and I feel guilty for feeling that way. I find myself struggling with the same demons. The ones that I thought I might leave behind when I drove 2100 miles to Washington state with Shawn and his dad in front of me in the Uhaul and Snowy in the back seat. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's my health... I can't say for sure. All I know if that I was supposed to start back to work today, and I didn't. One reason was because I was sick, but the other was because I was so anxious about the start of the new year and everything that comes with it. All during the break, I've been excited about new things, about the upcoming spring season, about training for a race, about finding new adventures, about buying a new house. But today... not so much. So, I wanted to list out my New Year's resolutions in hopes that I can refer back to them: 1. Volunteer with a CSA this summer- accomplished! I start volunteering in June with a lady in Snowden, WA. She keeps bees, gardens, and develops products with herbs that she grows herself. 2. Hike each weekend. 3. Stick to the eating regimen that my Naturopath prescribed. 4. Compartmentalize work and home. 5. Focus on positive. 6. Don't worry about the negative so much. 7. Spend more quality time with Shawn. (Tuesday bathhouse soaks!) 8. Keep a cleaner house and make more of an effort. 9. Find a running group and train for a race. 10. Make more of an effort to spend time outside of work with my colleagues Most of all, I'm just excited about not having any plans... no professional plans, no school plans. Of course I think about how a different job might be better, or maybe a different degree. But for now, I'm just going to stay put. As a good friend of mine wrote the other day, "The grass is greener where you water it." Something to think about.