seasons

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been saddened by the fact that people who were important to me during college, even this last year, will no longer be in my life. Sure, we can facebook each other, send an e mail or two. But it won't be the same. There are seasons in everyone's life when people filter in an out. That's just how it is. It makes me sad, but I draw strength from the fact that I have learned something from them, just as surely as they have learned something from me. As the old saying goes... "I am apart of everyone I know." or something to that effect.
As much as people filter in an out of our lives, we change too. We each have different seasons that we go through that strengthen and challenge and inspire us in different ways. It's an ever-changing cycle... But a good one, especially when you are aware of it enough to note the seasons, learn from them, and embrace the new ones as they come.

american nightmare

I have often wondered what immigrants to America think they are going to find when they get here. Shady politics? Inflation? Corporate monopolies? I'm afraid that when they arrive in this country, all that greets them is an american nightmare instead of an american dream. I'm sorry, I just find it hard to be patriotic sometimes. It's hard to have support for a country that you have to fight in order to live in any sense of decency. I know I harp on insurance a lot, but really, does it have to be that way? I think people just go along with it because they thing that's how it has to be, but it doesn't. Now, I don't exactly have any ideas on how to change it as of yet, but I do think there is a way.
And what about corporate America? Actually my life is quite ironic. I hate corporate America, but I am forced to live in it and even work in it if I am to live a healthy life. I have to have a job right now that will pay for my life in America. Money is always, always a struggle. Wouldn't it be nice, if, for once, people focused on what you are instead of what you do? Isn't that always the initial question when you first meet someone... Hi. How are you? What do you do? And wouldn't it be nice when a person graduated from college if people asked... What do you want to be? instead of What do you want to do?

Last time

“Last Time”
5/7/08

Lately I have had some thoughts like
Whoa.
Last time to take a test
Last time to stress out over papers
Last time to sell back books
Last time to talk to friends
Last time to see some professors
Last time to sit in the library
Last day at work.
I haven’t had time to catch up
Wait! Slow down!
I need to remember it.
But
sigh
It’s all here.

return to childhood

I had an interesting experience a couple of Mondays ago. I had to get a drug test for my new job. I tried to go last week, but I was unaware that I was not supposed to touch the paper, let alone fill it out in its entirety… which I did. I was told to come back the next day, which was Monday, and I did, after I had to call the corporate offices of White Lodging and shamefully ask for a new form. I went in the office and immediately felt awkward. It was quiet, sterile, and the receptionist stared at me like a convict from behind the glass. She barked, “Sign in.” and backed away from the window. I gave her my form and my ID and went to sit down. I waited for a few seconds while she looked back and forth from me to my ID, supposedly, I guess to verify my identity. After that moment, I wondered what kind of unsavory people she dealt with everyday. I tried to be my sunny self, but to no avail. I felt like I entered the room and revered back to toddlerhood. As I walked into the “collection room” code for a little room with a toilet and an examination table, I was greeted by a string of commands… “stop” “don’t” don’t touch that” Quit it” Stand here” Pee” It was a little humiliating. She proceeded to search me and advised me to put my purse into a cabinet which she locked. She handed me a cup and for one moment of horror, I thought she was about to follow me into the bathroom and hold it for me. Thankfully, she didn’t. I slinked out of the bathroom with a cup of warm liquid in my hand. She barked a few more commands, asked for my signature and saw me out the door. Whew… I promise never to do drugs. I never want to repeat that again.